Growing pains




Sadly, we are all selfish.

As much as we all encourage growth and whatnot, we still find it hard to accept that others have grown. We congratulate ourselves, we praise ourselves, we feel good about ourselves when we compare our intellect of years ago to the present time (at this point, it is no crime to be narcissistic). But we find it hard to accept that someone else has grown, not just any growth, but one that supersedes how we ever imagined. 
For instance, a supposed mentor will preach growth constantly to a mentee, but will, in turn, find it hard to accept that growth when it comes. 

So many times, we mistake naivety for humility and growth for pride. We like people to live by our rules. Even parents want that same 2-year-old baby who answered to everything they stipulated to still be the 20-year-old adult. Somehow, they still want you to follow their precepts, beliefs and all without understanding that you have grown to have a life of your own even though they still preach “growth” to you.

How about those who sing the need for growth to you but in their head, they have set a growth scale for you?  Once you exceed it, you are termed “proud” and they begin another round of sermon. 

How ironical is that!

The truth is, those who preach “growth” seldom ever accept it when it comes. They tell you to grow because they want to act all nice and motivational.
The person you knew two years ago isn’t the same person now. A lot has changed; values, beliefs and more. And that’s normal. It is either you accept it or you accept it. There are no two ways about it.
But if you find it hard to accept others’ growth as much as you accept yours, then do not be hypocritical by preaching it. 

You want me to tell you to grow as my closing remark, right? Nah! I won’t, because I don’t know if I can accept your growth when it happens. 

Accepting that you have grown is one thing, accepting that others have grown is another: two different things you must understand.

Live. 💚



Comments

  1. Zeal okoJune 18, 2020 at 1:35 PM

    Every line has a truth in it

    ReplyDelete
  2. AdewuyiJune 18, 2020 at 2:03 PM

    Wow! Amaka.

    This is truly insightful.

    There is one thing I fear most amongst writers: The compulsive urge to see their thoughts sprawled uncontained on a piece of paper. In other words, their narcissistic, albeit prejudiced, thoughts are aired at the expense of genuine, insightful messages. It doesn't matter whose life is affected in the long run.

    These past few months have shown you have something to offer; a voice to lend; ills to correct.

    What I read herein are words of somber reflections. And the statements are spiked with deliberate efforts of conscientious thoughts. Kudos.

    Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. agim_amakaJune 24, 2020 at 10:29 AM

      Well, the goal is to change the narrative.
      and i am trying as much as i can. Thanks a lot for your kind words. i appreciate.

      Delete
  3. ZigieJune 18, 2020 at 2:21 PM

    Wow! This is very true. We usually don't practice what we preach.✌✌

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yard GirlJune 18, 2020 at 2:56 PM

    Wow! Now, this insightful!! Thank you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. agim_amakaJune 25, 2020 at 2:07 PM

      Thank you, dear. Glad you found it worthwhile.

      Delete
  5. IvannJune 18, 2020 at 3:05 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  6. IvannJune 18, 2020 at 3:12 PM

    Why do I picture myself in this? Why do I feel the heat of every lone word impale through me skin? Can't help but concure to the salient truth. Especially the part relating to the parents and their grown up children.. Quiet a gratifying article!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. agim_amakaJune 25, 2020 at 2:04 PM

      Well, you are not alone, dear. Seems like everyone has a fair share of this part of life. Thank you for your reading. I hope we get to do better

      Delete
  7. WisdomwritesJune 18, 2020 at 5:30 PM

    Thanks for this
    I really apppreciate this timely message to us.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Iheanyichukwu KingsleyJune 18, 2020 at 11:50 PM

    This piece right here is what everyone needs to read. It's worth reading

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. agim_amakaJune 25, 2020 at 1:59 PM

      Thank you so much, dear. You can share to other social media platforms.

      Delete
  9. UnknownJune 19, 2020 at 4:02 AM

    Very factual sugar, I've had to deal with this so many times

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. agim_amakaJune 24, 2020 at 10:38 AM

      I can relate, dear. I just hope we and everyone around us learn to do better.

      Delete
  10. @cnndevJune 19, 2020 at 5:51 AM

    This is a Very Fascinating Piece.
    Thanks for sharing !!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. DozzyJune 19, 2020 at 9:21 AM

    Wow!....In as much as this piece is just a write-up, it actually creates insight into what we can actually adjust in our lives. Thanks very much for speaking to our souls.
    You're making us proud.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. agim_amakaJune 24, 2020 at 10:30 AM

      Thank you for reading, dear and thanks for your kind words too. I appreciate.

      Delete
  12. Inspireme.com.July 9, 2020 at 6:38 AM

    Be intentional about your growth and stop comparison and insult. This is a knowledgeable piece.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

2020: What a year?!

Image
So it is over ten days into 2021, and I just realized I am yet to gather my thoughts about 2020. I guess everyone had a time of retrospection, throwbacks, and so many end-of-year shenanigans. But here I am on Jan 14th (12:23 am), trying so hard to end 2020 in my head with this note.  I screamed “Happy New Year!” and did every other conventional activity that comes with a new year, but I walked into the year nonchalantly. No. I actually slept into the new year. I could not risk taking the “new year, new me” path because I knew I would get lost.  But this is me screaming: “Fu*k you, 2020!” Returning to school with so much energy in Feb 2020 was my starter pack. I just wanted to smash all my goals – live, love, learn, explore, connect, grow, stay happy, and maintain good grades. But I ended up staying ten months in school doing one thing: living.  It was a game. Survival of the fittest, maybe. Each month displayed the power of their numbers in ascending order. As we counted down, we saw d
Read more
Image
The night seemed to be in a deep romance with silence for hours, as Bella turned and rolled around the messy floor, her back aching from how she laid. She shrugged and muttered to herself, “wish I could close my eyes in peace a little longer”. With swollen eyes as a result of crying far into the night, she reached for her torchlight; to aid her get to the bathroom. Luckily for her, power was restored. “Tik-tok, tik-tok” the wall clock chimed. It was that time of the night again. Bella made her way to the bathroom to take a dump and freshen up, not knowing if she was preparing in disguise or not but she just wanted to feel water against her skin. The few minutes spent in the bathroom was relieving, as her mind was void of thoughts. Back in the room, Bella tried to tidy up. She eyed the broom sitting at the corner next to the wardrobe before glancing at the pile of dirty clothes in the laundry basket, feeling reluctant to do anything. Her fingers raked through her hair, finding an i
Read more

PERFECT DAY

Image
The back of my head itched as I raked my hands through my hair, trying to calm the mumblings in my head. I drove in dissatisfaction as my mind struggled to figure out why my day felt incomplete. There was something I was yet to do. I was bothered. I’d done everything perfectly today except for one thing, which kept me restless. I woke up at exactly 5:30am, completed my official report at 6:00am, had my bath at 6:30am, and got ready for work at 7:00am. I ate breakfast by 7:30am, and got to the office by 8am. I always had a complete day; doing my routines at the appropriate time without skipping any. At 8pm, I was already on my way home. The car sped through the darkening day, its headlight flashing, warning the incoming traffic. I scowled as my grip on the steering tightened considerably. It frustrated me greatly that I had forgotten something. I took deep breaths to calm myself, my frustration mounting by the second. It was becoming a not-so-perfect day. My day wasn’t fulfilled. I ne
Read more